Last night, the mister and I had a conversation that should’ve been had weeks, if not months ago. I brought up things that I was unhappy about, and also pushed for pre-marital counseling. I knew he was against it and I didn’t know why. He told me he didn’t believe in it.
I refused to back down about it. I believe it could really help us in the long run. Our peers are not thinking about marriage at our age. We’re not letting other people influence us negatively, but what about positively?
The point is although it was a conflicting conversation, it needed to be had. No relationship is perfect. There’s an 80/20 rule: you’re only going to get at most 80% of what you want in your significant other. Arguments are necessary in a relationship. You can’t, and won’t, agree on everything. A discussion and occasional disagreement are needed.
How often do you and your spouse disagree? Is it usually smaller things or bigger issues?
I feel like I don’t argue with my guy as much as some people do, but then again, most of our issues are pretty big and we’ve been over them before.
I start them, mostly, because I get anxious about the future. I just blogged about my biggest concern. http://bit.ly/errdRO
But I think it’s part of a relationship. When humans get together, theres conflict, because everyone is different. It’s natural.
Mr. Red and I have disagreements regularly. I wouldn’t consider them fights, and fortunately, they’re always over small things and end quickly. Part of being married is learning how to fight fair and when to gracefully back down from a fight. I’m very opinionated, but I have to slow down sometimes and ask myself if whatever I’m upset about is really bad enough to fight over it. Most of the time, I end up letting it go.
But if something is really important to you, you have to duke it out. Part of letting them win sometimes is them letting you win when something is really important to you too. And the ultimate goal is realizing that who wins doesn’t really matter. 🙂