This morning, we got quite the scare. My father-in-law had been rushed to the hospital, and we didn’t know what was wrong. Hubbz was very upset, and I told him we could go down to his parents house until we knew what hospital he was at. Thankfully, we had both just got ready for the day, initially going to his 10am therapy appointment. On the way there, I cancelled his therapy appointment as we rushed down to the South Bay. We found out what hospital he’d be at and rushed there.

We were extremely anxious and on pins and needles. I was wondering why we were at the county hospital, when I knew his dad was covered under Kaiser’s HMO plan. I didn’t ask questions, no matter how uncomfortable I was. Instead, I was there for support. I even asked my mom to call my cousins who I knew worked in the hospital to see if they could get us some additional information.

To make a long story short, we were at the wrong hospital. My instinct was right; my father-in-law was at Kaiser, but he told us to go home. He had lower back pain to the point that he felt he was going to pass out, and asked my mother-in-law to dial 911. It was frightening because my father-in-law is in his early 70s, and has Leukemia. He has been feeling week the past couple of weeks, so we were all concerned.

In the moment, I was definitely worried, but didn’t show it, as to stay strong for my husband. I hate seeing him upset, and knew he was extremely stressed out. His mom doesn’t deal with conflict well, which is why she told us the wrong hospital. He also had to go into work today, despite trying to call off, but HR wouldn’t answer the phone. I’m trying to do whatever I can to reduce his stress.

When your spouse is in need, especially in a situation like this, it can be hard for both of you. If they’re prideful, it can be difficult for them to accept your help. If they push you away, it can be a struggle to try to get them to open up to you about how they’re feeling. Sometimes a little space goes a long way. A comforting hand on theirs or a slight back rub may release a bit of tension. Even if you don’t know what to say, sometimes you don’t need to say anything at all.

Has your spouse gone through something where you needed to stay strong for them? How did that work for you?

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