This weekend I received a check that I’ve been anticipating. This check gives me the financial cushion to allow my dream wedding to come true. Now I’m second guessing whether the dream wedding is necessary.
I have an internal conflict within myself. I’m twenty years old, which means at times, I have a twenty year old mindset. However, I’ve always been mature beyond my years, allowing me to make mature decisions my peers wouldn’t even dream of making. I’m now thinking my dream wedding could be a waste of money, even on the budget I set.
Originally, I was upset at the possibility of not being able to wear my white dress, commit in front of a crowd, feed and impress my family and friends. Now I’m thinking “that’s not really me anyways!” I’m such a simple person; too much attention makes me uncomfortable. Spending lots of money makes me even more so.
I can get the same satisfaction doing something absolutely intimate without all the hoopla. I never wanted to have every single family member there anyways, but felt obligated. My marriage isn’t about others, but I discovered my wedding was.
I’m coming up with a different, budget wise way to announce my commitment to my soon to be husband. Why spend all that money for other people to have a good time? I now know that’s not me, and I’m happy I learned that.