Even though hump day was yesterday, let’s talk about sex (baby)! It’s taboo to some, exciting for others. Regardless of how we feel about it, everybody’s doing it! At least, that what they had us thinking in high school. But somehow, when you become married, it seems like no one is doing it. Including you. It’s Thursday; have you had sex this week? For those of you who grinned and nodded a little too enthusiastically, good for you. But my hunch is that many of you said no.
So what gives? Why aren’t married people utilizing that marriage bed on a regular basis? I can tell you a bunch of excuses, both legitimate and just plain…not. “My back aches! (My bra too tight)” “The kids are up.” “The kids will be up.” “I’m not in the mood.” “I’m exhausted.” “I don’t look good. (Don’t get me started about this one)” Rebuttals: be on bottom and not on top, tell the kids to entertain themselves, sneak in a quickie, get in the mood, find the energy, and he thinks you look good. Oh look at that. You ran out of excuses.
But seriously, so many of us women complain about sex, when in reality, it helps our marriages 10 times more than it hurts. Aren’t you tired of your husband giving you this look?
Creeper status, right? For real, y u no have sex with your hubby? And before we have that one off comment from someone, let’s direct the same question to those (rare) men: y u no have sex with your wifey? Let’s check out some of the benefits of sex, and why having more of it can make you and your spouse happier:
More Sex = Better At Work
Some people like to joke, “Oh, So-and-So is all smiles today. Must have gotten lucky.” Jealous? You should be. Because So-and-So did get lucky last night, and So-and-So is able to focus on his/her work better with that pent up energy nice and released. He/she is killing it in productivity, while you’re with the water cooler chatter. Having more sex gives you more creativity and productivity at work. Have more sex, get that promotion. What a mission!
More Sex is Dope
Yeah like the slang word, but also literally. Having sex releases dopamine, the feel-good chemicals. It’s similar to the feeling a woman gets when buying shoes, or the feeling a man gets when his team is winning a game. Stimulate your mind (Craig) after stimulating your body.
More Sex = Less Fights
I’m sick of arguing with my husband, just plain sick of it. But you know what stops arguments, or at least reduces them? S-E-X. Who can possibly be angry when they’re having a grand ol’ time in the real happiest place on earth? More chemicals are released, oxytocin (that’s not a misspelling, so just read it again) and these chemicals help you deal with stress. The stress from cooking dinner. The stress from the never-ending dirty dishes. The stress you accidentally brought home from work. I read during one Marriage Chat that someone advised when you want to stop a fight with your spouse, just start getting naked. They won’t know what to do, but they’ll figure it out.
More Sex = Less You
When I say “less you” I mean the amount of you, body wise. Weight loss is serious, and burning calories is the name of the game. Who wants to go spinning or pass out in boot camp? Spin around in the covers, and take no prisoners in the bedroom. Weight loss is the perfect excuse to do it. “Honey, I have a calorie burning goal I need to meet, let’s get busy!” (Pun all the way intended) Is it a miracle solution? No, but your spouse doesn’t have to know that.
Do it for God. Do it for your spouse. Do it for yourself. Do it for the people (just don’t do it in front of the people, unless, you know, that’s your thing). Whatever you do, do it. Get it, get it.
Do you think you’re having enough sex? How often would you like to do it?
I love this article!
nice I have to remember this, when I say I do, 🙂
I read an article talking about a survey given to women in which they were asked which they’d prefer between a.) an insanely good looking man who did nothing around the house or b.) an average looking man who helped out around the house, with kids, etc. The majority of women chose B.
Additionally, in the recent past there was a late night conversation going on around my kitchen table discussing the frequency that couples made love. I made a distinct correlation between frequency and the amount the man in the relationship helped out around the house.
I should probably be charging for this, but I think I just found the holy grail to “getting more” for men.
If you think about it, what I outline, in combination with your article makes perfect sense.
Imagine a woman comes home to find the sink empty of dishes, laundry all done, folded and put away, house picked up, and dinner cooking away on the stove – potentially with candles lit and a single rose in a vase. Do you think this improves the man’s chances that night? Let’s say it does and the magic happens. Does this improve the chances that the guy will do it again the next day. Absolutely.
It’s a self feeding cycle that builds on itself. Going back to your article – “Less Fights” – who wants to fight with the other person in the relationship when all of the above is going on? Not this guy. More compromise, less arguments, more productivity, higher self esteem, etc, etc, etc.
So seriously…..guys……..go home. Do the dishes, the laundry, and cook dinner. Do it tonight. Start the circle. You won’t be disappointed.
Trust a guy who knows from experience. 🙂
Briana and Travis, you both are SOOOOOOOOO right! Thankfully my husband and I were rabbits in a past life so lack of lovin hasn’t been an issue in the last (almost) 8yrs we’ve been together. One thing he did pick up on was that when he helped out around the house more, he got more, in ever way possible. He tried to put his boys on game, but they think he’s trippin. But he’s also the only one with a steady woman, his own place, and a career, not just a job. Silly boys will never learn the quickest way into a woman’s pants is doing housework. Whenever we have a big fight the house is clean the next day cuz he’s trying to come “home” as he calls it 😉 foreplay and housework, get’s it in EVERY time!
I love the fact that (this week at least) I was one of the married people that answered “yes” to your first question and was smiling from ear to ear, hahaha. But I have to agree with Travis, when I have less on my mind and Mr. BFS is generally happy too, we have a lot more fun regularly. That means that we both spend a bit of time every day trying to make sure that we handle anything that may be wearing the other person down…