Hubby and I had a great time away from it all in Las Vegas for our anniversary. However, all good things must come to an end, so we made our way back to reality on the day of our actual anniversary. On our way back, we brought up our next steps, our next chapter of our lives. Somehow, the military came up. We’re not really strangers to the service. His oldest sister and her husband are in the Air Force. One of my brothers is also in the Air Force. We both have friends in the service. We discussed the possibilities of how our life would change if we did what neither one of us previously considered. We agreed we’d look more into it.
The next day, I woke up and went to the Air Force website. I learned about what was expected and what to look forward to. 8.5 weeks of Basic Military Training in San Antonio, Texas. Probably the hardest weeks of my life physically and possibly mentally. Amazing benefits, including pay, rent, a guaranteed job, and much more. A route I previously vowed to never really consider was seeming like a new route towards the life we wanted. As usual, I was more focused on making it happen. I asked hubby if he’d go to the recruiter’s office with me that day. He declined, but I still wanted to learn more.
My mom took the news so much better than I expected. She supported right off the bat and went with me to the local recruiter’s office. The guy was super nice and answered a lot of my questions. I took a pre-test and scored pretty well. I learned about some of the different bases, expectations (4 years of service minimum), and that this would be an awesome opportunity for a young couple such as us. The only thing really standing in my way to continue is I have to lose 15 more pounds, so that’s my mission.
Hubby and I were talking about it yesterday and he was hesitant because his dad is sick, going through chemo, and he doesn’t really want to leave him. Completely understandable. He said he wanted to talk to him about it, get his opinion and words of wisdom. I told him I understood and also I was honest about my feelings. I was feeling that he was more asking his dad for permission to live his life. I made it clear I wasn’t making him choose between me and his parents, but I wanted him to understand that when it comes down to it, he also has an obligation to me as his wife to make our lives better as well. I wasn’t guilt tripping him; I wanted him to understand where I was coming from and to know that I understand his position as well.
This morning, he brought up the Air Force to his dad. He said his dad flipped out. He thinks he’s going to go to combat and pulled a major guilt trip on hubby: what if he passes away while he’s gone. I felt that was completely unfair of him to do that, but hubby said regardless, he’s going to do it. I don’t want him to resent me about the decision and I want the decision to be his own. I also want us to be in a better situation than we’re in now. I want us to live the life we want to live.
After talking to his dad, hubby went to the recruiter’s office. I was so happy that he went, even if he didn’t go with me. That showed me that this is something he actually wants to do also. He also did well on his pre-test and the recruiter is excited for us. I’m feeling anxious because this is a huge step for us as individuals and for us as a married couple. There will be times where we’re not together and can’t be together, much farther than the 3.5 miles we’re apart right now.
So who knows! Maybe we’re both going to the Air Force. Maybe something else will happen. Whatever the case may be, we have to endure this together.
What do you think about us joining the military? Do you have experience with this? Words of advice?
My words of advice would be make sure you both are doing the military because you really want to do it. I come from a family with a lot of military personnel and have seen the toll that it takes on families. I’ve also had family members try the military route just because of the money and benefits and didn’t last.
Overall, I think the military is great. You can learn discipline, travel the world, make some great connections and set yourself up for a very early retirement. Pray on it and go from there.
My dad was military for 20 years. You move around a lot and don’t always get to go where you want. You make a lot of friends, but you also leave a lot of friends. Whatever you do make sure that deep down it is what you really want. If you do end up joining thank you in advance for your service!
I think this is great. Like the others said, just make sure that you’re doing it for all the right reasons.
Well, that’s an exciting development!
I too would caution you guys to make sure your hearts are really in it and it’s not just an easy, secure choice.
For certain people, the military lifestyle works out really well.
T has been in the army and sometimes talks about going back, but it’s not a lifestyle I want – we’d have to move to the middle of nowhere, or else he might be off in combat zones gambling on either dying or coming back with big, big bucks. Big risk. He’s also suggested that I enlist, but there just is no way I could hack the physical side – and I also know I would struggle a lot with the hierarchy of the military.
I don’t think the military is a bad choice, I just think you need to make sure it’s the one for you, it’s going to get you closer to your overall goals in life and it’s the right reason, not to just have a job.
I just tweeted you about this, but wanted to send a quick comment too. I have been in the Air Force for 12 years and know all of the ins and outs. I’ve been with my husband the whole time I have been in the military, so I know how it can affect a relationship and what it entails. There is no way I can list all my advice for you in a comment, so if you really would like to know how it will be for you as an african-american, intelligent woman, I would love to share it with you. Also, I can talk to you about deployments. I just got back from a deployment in march and I can share with you how that may effect you. Please don’t hesitate to contact me.