Friday, hubby had the day off and decided to spend it with me. I was so excited, especially since he was on swing shift (2pm to 10pm) so I otherwise would’ve been pretty bored for the majority if the day if he wasn’t there with me. He was up early, which was nice, and he enkoyed breakfast while I watched TV and Frankie played. We later went to visit his dad, then went out to eat at Island’s, just in time for their lunch special. I took a nap, we watched more TV, then we played a puzzle game on the iPad. It may not sound like much, but it was such a good day, and that’s because we were in tune to each other.
I recently read a highly raved about book called 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, and the book expressed that there are five ways to show your love: physical touch, quality time, giving/receiving gifts, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Everyone has at least one primary love language in which they feel that someone loves them, and in some cases, some people have secondary languages. I learned that my primary love language is acts of service while my secondary language is words of affirmation. Hubby’s first love language is physical touch and his second is quality time. Our day together covered those bases, and I truly felt the love.
He offered to drive and eat at the restaurant, things he doesn’t particularly like to do, so I considered those to be acts of service. We spent the day actually together, next to each other, enjoying each other’s company, and even cuddling, which covered physical touch and quality time. We were both happy and enjoyed each other.
Knowing your spouse’s love language can help you express your love for them in so many different ways. I believe before, hubby thought my love language was gift giving. He would get me gifts unexpectedly. While I most certainly appreciate just-because gifts, and the earrings and necklace he got me for our anniversary, I would have been even happier with a compliment, maybe about my attempts at weight loss, or taking out the trash (both of which he did by the way). I have him reading 5 Love Languages too, so soon he may realize for sure what my love languages are.
Love is so much more than yourself. You can be fulfilled making your significant other happy. I felt that with our simple day together. He was happy that I was happy. I feel the same way when he’s happy. I’m learning marriage is about sacrifice. I’ve never been a selfish person; I’m a Libra so I’ve always been selfless and nonconfrontational. This has been a gift and a curse, as I will go out of my way to please others, but will be upset when people don’t realize my needs aren’t being met. I have recently been complaining about my feelings in the marriage, but haven’t been willing to sacrifice anything additional for both of us to be happy. Speaking hubby’s love language as opposed to waiting for him to speak mine has been a small sacrifice, but with such great rewards (at least on Friday haha). I’m glad I have the time to learn how to love him the way he will most appreciate it.
Have you read the 5 Love Languages? What’s your primary love language? Do you know your spouse’s?
I am so happy you had a perfect day together. It’s so special when we discover that doing the most ordinary things together can be fun.
Thanks Jan! I’m looking forward to more days like that.
I just got that book. I’ve heard so much about it over the years that I feel as if I’ve read it. Then I was recommending it to a friend and realized I hadn’t actually read it myself! Glad you and your husband pay attention to each other!
It’s a great book, I hope you enjoy it!