Besides what the layoff did to my ego, it really messed up my financial situation. It came a week after a car accident, a month before moving, and 7 months before my wedding date. Lost of income (I take it as a loss because unemployment checks get eaten up as soon as they arrive) really hit the breaks on my wedding planning, which is definitely upsetting.
I just found the perfect venue, 4 miles from my house, and right in my (initial) budget. It’s gorgeous and everything I could want in a place to display my commitment to my fiance. But lo, you need money for a wedding venue. You need $2,000 just to reserve the date, then there’s the rest of the money that’s due 3 weeks before the date. That’s how businesses are ran, and I know that. But reality is, the money just isn’t there.
I tried to psyche myself out, saying if I earned a certain amount of money a day, I could make it happen. Yesterday, through a 15 hour migraine, I wrote article after article and earned $50. It’s sad that I can get excited over that, when I was making more than double that a day after taxes. There’s no way I can get $2,000 in 2 weeks, and it’ll still be impossible to cover the rest of the costs if I’m still out of work. Even with Tej working some overtime, he’s turning it down more than working it, so right now it looks like we’re stuck.
I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t imagine my wedding since I was younger. Since Jennifer Lopez starred in the Wedding Planner, I’ve been planning my wedding. Now the opportunity comes to make my dream come true, and I can’t. I don’t have money to do that or have a honeymoon, like a nice one on Thomson cruises. I don’t want to postpone it, because I’m ready NOW. It’s heartbreaking. I already have my dress, and no where to wear it.
I’m highly considering eloping, with a courthouse wedding and 2 witnesses. The last thing I want is another disappointment and I may sound like a brat but I feel like I’ve worked so hard to earn this wedding, and don’t even have the opportunity to do it when I want. If I can’t come up with the money in 2 weeks, we’re just going to go to the court and call it a day. No family, maybe 2 friends for witnesses. If that happens, I’m going to sell my dress on Craigslist, get Tej’s ring and call it a day.