20 and Married!

So I took a hiatus last week because I was in the nitty gritty planning stages of an elope-style wedding that went down on Friday. It is official; I am now 20 and married!

Tej’s schedule was changed this past week to 12 hour shifts, 2am to 2pm, and he didn’t know when it would go back to normal, let alone when he would get a day off to actually plan the wedding we were thinking about. So we decided we would have a courthouse wedding with our immediate family only. It turned out to be just what we were looking for. The two of us are so simple, and not looking for so much attention and much ado about nothing, so our plan worked excellent.

We set the wedding up for Friday at 3:30, at the Fullerton courthouse, so we could get our license as well. We had about 20 family members attend (most of them being mine of course). I found a bakery who did the cake in 3 days. It was a marble cake with raspberry mouse filling; so delicious! Thanks Patty’s Cakes! We had dinner at a restaurant around the corner called Bourbon Street, where the menu was catfish, barbecue chicken, creamed corn, au gratin potatoes and a delicious raisin pecan salad. We’ve already made a plan to go for our anniversaries. My bouquet was done in a matter of hours. My dress was from Nordstroms. It was just how we wanted it.

The ceremony was in a very nice room in the courthouse. The vows were so personal and romantic, better than anything we could’ve written ourselves. We didn’t cry (I think our family did though), but instead, kept it light hearted and added some humor into it. Pictures were taken by Kehoe Photography, whom we found on Craigslist! All in all, we had a fantastic day!

There are some family and friends who are upset that they weren’t invited, but we really kept it to immediate family. There were no friends; we wanted it to be intimate. Everyone pretty much found out the same way, through Facebook or Twitter. Some people weren’t happy about that. We didn’t intend to hurt anyone’s feelings, but this was about us, and our previous plans were becoming about our guests and not our commitment to each other. So we feel comfortable with our decision, and wouldn’t do it any other way.

How does it feel to be a wife? Pretty much the same as it did being a fiance honestly. We already lived together, so nothing much has changed besides rings. I will admit that I do feel even more in love with my now husband, because of the lifetime commitment we’ve made to each other. He’s always been my best friend, and I credit that as keeping our relationship so successful. I have noticed one slight change though; I feel like we can read each other’s minds now haha. Over the weekend, there have been several instances where I’ve said what he was thinking and vice versa. Not sure if that’s in the newlywed handbook or what, but we’ll take it.

As for the site, I’ll change it to 20 and Married soon, once I get the hang of my new last name.

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Comments (19)

  1. Reply

    Congratulations! Don’t worry about hurt feelings, people forget they’re being selfish and that they should really just be happy for you guys. Hope married life is long and fulfilling.

      • Essence


        I’m fairly new to the site. Just found you this week..LOVE IT!! And many blessing and congrats to you and your husband! Also, I am getting married in Vegas (only two other people will be coming) and I have a beautiful gown (freeeee!!) And a lot of my family members and friends are UPSET!!
        We were going to do the whole big wedding & reception and I (yes I admit) got lost in all of the madness trying to please & cater to everyone else. We changed our plans back to Vegas, very similar tou yourss.. small & intimate!!!

        • Reply

          I’m glad you found it Essence! A Vegas wedding is second to none. It’s all about you guys, not a bunch of other people. Our family & friends were upset too but they’ll get over it. Congratulations!!

  2. South County Girl


    WOW! That’s gutsy girl! I hope you hadn’t picked out any bridesmaids and stuff before you switched things up. (I’d be a little hurt if I had already bought a dress and everything).

    Congrats and good luck as a young married gal… Hopefully if you can explain your situation people will understand and just be happy for you… most people get upset because they want to celebrate with you. 

    Are you planning a reception of any kind?

    • Reply

      I picked 3 bridesmaids but we didn’t get far on picking out dresses or anything like that, so they’re okay with it and understood 🙂 And thank you so much!

  3. Reply

    Wow! Congratualtions. I really wanted to elope, but we couldn’t do it. Love the sound of your wedding. Exactly how it should be as it is about you and your husband, not the massive dress/elaborate reception that lands most people in debt at the start of their married life. So happy for you! 🙂

    And on a side note, totally understand the 12 hour shifts at random hours. My husband does them too.

  4. Jesort415


    I am a new follower and love that your posted about your very special and intimate “courthouse” wedding. I think these types of wedding get a bad rep. or from my experience not taking as seriously or made as big a deal as “real” (not my word) weddings.

    My wedding was very much like yours, courthouse with close family only and a restaurant reception only difference I was 4 weeks postpartum 🙂 (we were engaged before baby and were planning a big lavish affair until the night I had the baby & while holding him hubby said “let’s forget all the planning, spening lots of money for other people and do it our way, I don’t need a big fancy wedding, I just want you to be my wife, I want us to be a family”). Anyway we had a lot of people make us feel bad for this decision…hubby’s family wouldn’t even take the day off to come…it was a Friday and it still hurts…5 years later!

    Anyway you made a great sound financial decision which shows you are years wiser than you age….I have had friends pay 50k for a 1 day affair while laughing that I have 50k in a bank account (or did until we bought a house) 😉

    • Reply

      Thank you! I wish more people did smaller courthouse weddings, so I’m working on an ebook for it. Congratulations on your wedding and your baby! You’re so write; I’ll be richer than my friends haha.

  5. Jasmyne J. Jackson


    That’s a beautiful way of doing things!! I wish you blessings, God’s grace and mercy on ya’ll journey of love!

  6. Nikki


    Confratulations! I was 21 when I got married. He’s the same race as my self, never been to jail, didn’t have children when we married & the same age as myself. However, we didn’t live together before marriage. We have been married for 10 years & 6 months & have been blessed with 3 beautiful children. My advice to u would b to keep God first n everything u do, stay on ur knees & pray, pray, pray, and keep everyone else out ur business!

  7. Red


    Congratulations!  Im glad you both took it there being a shining example for many other young black couples.

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