My husband has had some of the same friends since he was in Kindergarten. He’s made other friends over the years, but a handful of them have remained consistent. I like to consider them my friends too, and really we’re all family. Over the years, some people he’s met growing up have come and gone, and some have been not the best influences. Early on when we were dating, he was hanging around 2 guys in particular who weren’t up to much good, and they were negative influences. He’s since distanced himself from those 2.
Now, there’s a new bunch of guys he’s been hanging around who are also not the best influences. Some a year or 2 older, some a year or 2 younger. Maybe I have a bias towards his long time friends, but I just don’t get a good vibe from these guys. They’re not in school, they don’t have jobs, they’re not in committed relationships. They just hang out and make music all day.
One of the guys in particular, I think, is really not a good person to hang out with. It’s clear he has a problem with drinking, and even my husband has brought this to my attention and confronted him about it. However, they’ve been hanging out a lot, and it seems like he may be influencing him in a negative way. My husband isn’t really speaking to me, he’s ignoring calls from my brother (who my husband originally was working on music with), and he’s just been acting ridiculously strange.
I don’t want to say anything because I know he’ll see it as nagging, but I think these “friends” are bad news. I don’t know if they’ve been in his ear about being married or what, but it bothers me that he spends so much time with them, one of the biggest recurring arguments of ours (him spending time with them vs. me).
Have you ever experienced your spouse hanging out with the wrong crowd? How did it affect your marriage? How did you handle it?