Tag Archives: sex

Could You Have Sex for 7 Days Straight?

I hear the sounds of “hell yes” and “hell no” coming from many of you. Could you have sex with your spouse 7 days in a row? What if it was an attempt to save your marriage? The good people of Lifetime have started a new series called 7 Days of Sex, where they challenge married couples to make love everyday for a week, in an attempt to increase their intimacy and bring them closer together.

I just finished watching the 1st episode, and I love it. They profiled two couples who were having sex irregularly. One couple cited their children and being tired as the reason they weren’t doing the deed consistently. The other couple had no children, but were stressed by their financial situation (been there, done that). So what happens when married couples do what, well, married couples should be doing anyways? You can catch the episode online.

Could I do it? I don’t know. 7 days in a row is a lot LOL. I thought intimacy was sparse before, but try not even living in the same house. Awkward! But nevertheless, it would certainly be an experiment I’d be willing to try. One thing you’d have to do is spice it up. If you see sex as a chore or a thing on your to-do list doesn’t make it exciting. It could make you dread it instead. Vary the times and locations. Try new ways and incorporate new things. Ask what your partner wants. Tell your partner what you want.

I think that this type of intimacy is an important piece in the success of a marriage. Why else do you think a pastor brought a stripper pole into the pulpit? Even when I was reading Spousonomics, I was surprised to see that sex is one of the first things to go in a marriage. If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch like hubby’s is, then sex will most certainly be an integral part of the way you show them that you love them.

Sex has become so taboo and hush hush, and also tainted by the media, thrown in our faces and yet people get so much anxiety when it’s talked about. Sex education should be more than preventing teens from getting pregnant. There should be a movement of sex education for married couples too. Talk about it with your significant other and see if they’d be up for the challenge, or at least game enough to watch the show with you.

Do you think a 7 day sex challenge could help a marriage? Why or why not? How important is physical intimacy in your relationship?

Marriage Monday: We Did It

It’s just how it sounds. We did it. Ha! In case you were in the hustle and bussle of the holidays and you missed it, I wrote a pretty controversial post for Marriage Monday called No Weight Loss, No Sex. My weight loss has been, well, non-existent, partially due to the lack of support from hubby. So I did sort of an ultimatum that if I didn’t lose weight, I wouldn’t have sex. For every 5 pounds of weight loss, we could bless the bedroom. Well, who knew that my readers would be more up in arms about it than my husband. I told him “people must really want you to get some”. You guys really enjoy hump days, don’t you?

Well, I heard you guys, loud and clear. While I didn’t 100% agree, I did certainly listen, discuss it with the man who was sexless, and came to a conclusion: the decision wasn’t right. I am happy that my husband agreed anyways, and respected my wishes. There was no pressure. There was no frustration or resentment like many people thought. It also didn’t up the ante in the support area either. I didn’t want it to seem like withholding sex was a punishment, and I hear you guys, it shouldn’t be used as leverage.

So we had some fun. And I’m glad we did, and so is my husband. I’m taking my weight loss matters into my own hands. A lot of you guys gave great suggestions, such as finding a gynecologist who will really listen to my concerns, using sex as a reward and an additional way to burn calories. There were also some concerns about having sex even when you don’t feel like it, and even when you’re self conscious, that I’ll be voicing my opinion on at Black and Married with Kids.

Just wanted to update you guys. Thank you to everyone who weighed in and cared so much about our sex life. Who knew it was such a hot topic!

Marriage Monday: No Weight Loss, No Sex

Please note the date of this article before commenting, thanks!

I have your attention, don’t I? Well hopefully I have my husband’s attention as well. Stop acting like you’re in the 3rd grade. This 3 letter word is a reality, especially in a marriage. However, it’s not happening until I lose weight.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you understand that my weight and my health has been a major issue. I’ve tried juicing, I’ve tried walking, I’ve tried a diet. However, all of these efforts have been short lived. I’m not one to blame others for my shortcomings. I take responsibility for my lack of weight loss. However, it’s more than me just sticking to a plan. Along with lack of support from my doctors, who seem not to take my pre-diabetes and PCOS seriously, there’s another culprit keeping me from being the healthiest I can be: my husband.

My husband is the ultimate diet sabotager, and that’s not even a word. He’s awful. He tempts me into unhealthy choices like fast food, burgers, and fries. When we go grocery shopping, he still insists on getting something fast and fattening. When I try to adjust and eat healthier, he doesn’t support me. He may be skinny, but I think a healthier diet could help us both out. Instead, he totes Taco Bell and In-N-Out in my face. I try to drink water, he buys sodas. I ask for fruit, he asks for fries. When I ask him to go walking with me, he complains either about the time, the weather, or his back suddenly starts aching. I’m taking matters into my own hands.

I announced to him this weekend that I will not be having sex until I lose weight. He sort of laughed it off, thinking I won’t stick with it, but I have every intention of sticking to my plan. I’m not a prude, and I’m not addicted to sex, so while it’ll be a challenge, I certainly won’t be dying to go against it. Not only that, honestly, I’ve been so uncomfortable with my weight, I have been resisting sex. I don’t feel sexy at all, and I’ve been beyond self conscious about my body. I can’t even look at myself naked, let alone want anyone else doing so. He says he doesn’t have a problem with my body but I do.

So the plan is to lose 30 pounds. As of this morning, I’m back at 191.6 after I had lost weight by incorporating juicing. That’s because hubby’s been wanting pizza and Jack in the Box and blah blah blah. I know, I’m a big girl (literally), I can make my own food choices. However, it’s that much more difficult when the one person who should be supporting you is actually sabotaging your diet. So I’ve taken what may seem to be drastic measures.

I didn’t swear off sex forever. I made some deals. For every 5 pounds lost, we can do the deed. So that’s up to 6 scheduled times haha. I don’t have an actual timeline or deadline, so it’s up to us as to how often that will be. I’m hoping that using this as leverage will be an incentive for him to encourage me and help me with my weight loss. Maybe he’ll actually exercise with me now. Maybe he’ll realize he’s tempting me to eat unhealthy as opposed to going down the BMI chart, since I’m officially obese. These are more hopes than realities.

Most people who see me would beg to differ, but I try to wear clothes that mask the obvious, which doesn’t always work. There will be people who think I’m insane to do this (my BFF has already said I’m crazy). However, my weight is such a burden, such a problem, that I dread sex anyways and feel uncomfortable. So this is what I’m going to do.

So cuddle up babe. You won’t be getting any until I see some results.

What do you think? Is this a good idea or bad idea? TMI? Any tips or suggestions?