Tag Archives: intimacy

2 Days Off Marriage?

Could your marriage use two days off?

The question came to mind after watching Sex and the City 2 for the hundredth time. Have you seen the movie? If you haven’t, here’s the scenario.

No Sparkle

Carrie and Big have been married only two years yet the old married couple feeling has set in. The sparkle is gone. Big has turned into TV & Take Out guy while Carrie still wants to dine out and paint the town red. According to Carrie, the TV watching and ordering in is too Mr. and Mrs. Married. In one conversation, Carrie says to Big, its just going to be you and me for the rest of our lives. We are going to have to work on the sparkle for the rest of our lives.

Me and You – Just Us Two

The conversation deepened on their anniversary. Carrie gave Big a very nice vintage watch engraved with a sentimental message that said, “Me and you, just us two” and he gave her a flat screen TV. I LOL when I saw that scene because it reminded me of my mother who used to say, I can’t wear the house on my back which meant, give her gifts for her; a scarf, a piece of jewelry not a toaster. She is not the house.

Lying In Bed – Not Talking

Carrie didn’t like the TV. She said to Big, a piece of jewelry would’ve been nice. He envisioned them lying in bed at night watching old black and white movies then falling asleep. Carrie wanted nothing to do with that. She said, I don’t want to be one of those married couples lying in bed and not talking. That is not the relationship I signed up for.

No TV

The next day, Carrie went to her old apartment to finish up an article for Vogue magazine. She decided to stay there for two days to bang it out. She needed to lock herself away and not think about anything but writing. At the end of day two, Big surprised her and picked her up for dinner just like old times. The evening was magical and ended with a night of no TV. Use your imagination…

I Miss You

Two days apart gave them a chance to miss each other and reignite the sparkle. Big liked the idea so much that he wanted two days off as well; to lie around, watch TV and do all the things that bug Carrie. Carrie didn’t like his idea. She said, I don’t need two days off every week. Marriage doesn’t work like that. Big says, I thought we’re supposed to be making up our own rules. We’re adults, with no children. We have the luxury to design our life.

2 Days Off?

She discussed it with her girls and Charlotte said,

two days off? You make marriage sound like a job. Marriage is two people night after night sleeping in the same bed. Doesn’t it hurt your feelings that he would want time off?

So here’s my question to all the married people in the room…How does marriage work? Would it hurt your feelings if your spouse wanted two days off? Could your marriage benefit from two days off? Does marriage work like that? Does “sparkle” matter or is that just something in the movies? Tell me…I’m unmarried.

Do Separate Bedrooms Make or Break Intimacy?

It’s not all that uncommon, especially with older generations. There are some couples who swear that sleeping in separate bedrooms has kept them married for years and years. And sources say the trend is on the rise again. According to Huffington Post, separate bedrooms can steam up a marriage. Sort of playing on the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” saying, couples insist that having separate bedrooms and/or bathrooms keeps the spice in your life, indicating that being a little more reserved about your nudity and other strange habits we discover about our spouse when we move in together more of a secret.

Can you remember the time you saw your husband shaving naked? Have you tried to forget that day you discovered your wife poops too? Would you go to the extreme of being a little more conservative with your openness? I took to the social sphere to find out what others thought:

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/20andengaged/status/199291293149560833"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/scoblentz/status/199292283290533888"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/ScoutsHonor21/status/199292297853153280"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/4hatsandfrugal/status/199294458393669632"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/BKGurl208/status/199294676317110272"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/ypfinances/status/199294814255202304"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/mrssays/status/199295619058253825"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/SenseofCents/status/199297341742776320"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/thriftyandfit/status/199301003978350592"]

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/20andengaged/status/199297822779117568"]

I asked hubby what he thought and he said:

I think I watched my grandparents sleep in separate bedrooms for 20 years and I never understood it.

Sound off! What do you think about separate bedrooms? Does it set the flames or put them out?

Could You Have Sex for 7 Days Straight?

I hear the sounds of “hell yes” and “hell no” coming from many of you. Could you have sex with your spouse 7 days in a row? What if it was an attempt to save your marriage? The good people of Lifetime have started a new series called 7 Days of Sex, where they challenge married couples to make love everyday for a week, in an attempt to increase their intimacy and bring them closer together.

I just finished watching the 1st episode, and I love it. They profiled two couples who were having sex irregularly. One couple cited their children and being tired as the reason they weren’t doing the deed consistently. The other couple had no children, but were stressed by their financial situation (been there, done that). So what happens when married couples do what, well, married couples should be doing anyways? You can catch the episode online.

Could I do it? I don’t know. 7 days in a row is a lot LOL. I thought intimacy was sparse before, but try not even living in the same house. Awkward! But nevertheless, it would certainly be an experiment I’d be willing to try. One thing you’d have to do is spice it up. If you see sex as a chore or a thing on your to-do list doesn’t make it exciting. It could make you dread it instead. Vary the times and locations. Try new ways and incorporate new things. Ask what your partner wants. Tell your partner what you want.

I think that this type of intimacy is an important piece in the success of a marriage. Why else do you think a pastor brought a stripper pole into the pulpit? Even when I was reading Spousonomics, I was surprised to see that sex is one of the first things to go in a marriage. If your spouse’s primary love language is physical touch like hubby’s is, then sex will most certainly be an integral part of the way you show them that you love them.

Sex has become so taboo and hush hush, and also tainted by the media, thrown in our faces and yet people get so much anxiety when it’s talked about. Sex education should be more than preventing teens from getting pregnant. There should be a movement of sex education for married couples too. Talk about it with your significant other and see if they’d be up for the challenge, or at least game enough to watch the show with you.

Do you think a 7 day sex challenge could help a marriage? Why or why not? How important is physical intimacy in your relationship?