Relationship Drama via Social Networks

I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how social networks ruin relationships and I remember thinking “that’s not true; the relationship will either withstand the turmoil or would’ve ended without social media”. But yesterday, I got a completely different view on things.

I follow a rapper named Joe Budden, and his now former girlfriend, video model Esther Baxter. The past couple of weeks really, I’ve been wondering if they were still together because they usually tweet each other, mention each other, etc. Then I got on the computer yesterday and see people mentioning the two. So I did some research and found some disturbing news.

Not only did one of my favorite couples break up, but the break up was brutal and public. Allegedly there’s some violence, infidelity, and miscarriage involved which disturbed me. One blog site even went as far as posting photos of the miscarried fetus. Completely unprofessional and ridiculous. Then I was reading some of their tweets back and forth to each other, and they were explicit and vicious towards each other.

Of course urban and hip hop blogs everywhere are covering the mess, but going through it, and even catching up on my own on their Twitter pages brought me up to speed. I’m a bit heart broken, because, as I said, they were one of my favorite couples. They seemed to have a strong relationship, and even similar to my own. They appeared to not only love and respect each other, but also have a friendship foundation. But reading the stories behind the break up disturbed me.

One of the reasons I was disturbed, obviously, was because of the alleged violence. There were pictures posted of bruises on Esther too, and the injuries supposedly caused the miscarriage of their unborn daughter. Heartbreaking! Because I wasn’t there and I don’t have proof myself, I can’t say whether the abuse was present or not. Because I like both parties it’s hard for me to choose. I’m sure some people will say “why don’t you just automatically believe Esther?” Well, unfortunately, I know my generation (even though they’re 10 years older than me) has a history of lying about domestic abuse. I know of several people who lied about their significant other hitting them because they were having issues or he was threatening to end the relationship, so I wouldn’t put it past her to lie. The bruises weren’t exactly obvious, like those of Rhianna. Their location alone made it a little skeptical for me. But like I said, it’s up for debate.

The other thing that bothered me was how public it was. I used to be on MySpace just like anyone my age and I have an active Facebook and Twitter account. I see who falls in love and who ends their relationships. I never assumed it was the social network’s fault for the relationship ending, although I can understand the argument people make in favor of that. But I have never seen it played out like this. The tweets were like daggers, airing out dirty, very private laundry about their relationship. There was information fans like myself just didn’t need to know. Joe even made a song about it which described in great detail what went down, and posted it on YouTube. I now feel like I know their relationship a little too much, thanks to social media.

Tej and I were friends on MySpace, and also are friends on Facebook and Twitter. Our friends/followers know we’re in a relationship, but we don’t discuss in grave detail everything going on in it. We have disagreements like every other couple, but going out and telling the world (essentially) is not going to help it. I think people do it to make them feel better, venting I suppose, but it’s not the best idea. We’ve had an argument over something similar, because it’s easy to lose sight of that.

What do you think? Do you think social networks cause relationship drama? Are you friends with/following your significant other? Do you think it’s even worse when a celebrity is airing their personal business online?

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9 Responses to Relationship Drama via Social Networks

  1. As a late 20s something, maybe I’m a bit too old to really “get” the social networks, but I don’t see the value in airing one’s dirty laundry. What’s between me and a significant other is for us only and not hundreds of people we barely know on Facebook. ;)

  2. I think it’s awful for anyone, celeb or otherwise, to lay it all out on FB or wherever. A little class, a little dignity people.

    My fiance recently joined FB and we are friends, but never uses it (I’m relatively active). My status is “in a relationship”, but he’s not named in that.

    • Yes! Very classless of them to put all of their business for everyone to see. My fiance and I had a little argument when we were dating about him not putting “in a relationship” on his FB but it’s so silly. Mine says I’m engaged to him but he doesn’t display his relationship, which doesn’t bother me anymore, because everyone knows anyways.

  3. I think social networks cause relationship drama only if you allow it to. If your significant other has Facebook or Twitter and your friends are taking pictures of you dancing with some other person, you’re only asking for those photos to be posted for the world to see.

    The way I see it, social media has made people more aware of how public their actions really are. If you don’t want anyone to find out – don’t do it to begin with!

    And I don’t think it’s any worse when a celebrity airs their business. In the end, they’re just human like the rest of us.

    • Great way to put it! It really made people aware of their actions, especially when “tagging” was introduced. You’re right; celebs are people too. It’s just sad to see their breakup so public, where thousands of people are now aware of it

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