I had (well, still having) a breakdown today. I actually started writing this through tears and didn’t finish the next sentence until 8 hours later. I have reached a financial breaking point. I’m absolutely upset at my current situation. I’ve been unemployed for 6 months, either not receiving call backs or being turned down for positions left and right. I’ve submitted hundreds of applications. There are 249 messages in my Job Search folder of my GMail and those are just Craigslist postings where I sent my resume. That doesn’t include applications I filled out on corporate websites, temp agencies I’ve applied with, or LinkedIn positions I felt I applied for.
I get an unemployment check that is less than half of my previous monthly income. It’s 40% of what I was making as an intern, so it’s about 35% of what I was making a month. Bills have not ceased, although I do have protection on some of my accounts. When I tried to use the protection before in my previous bout of unemployment, a customer service rep rudely said “but your minimum payment is only $xx; you can’t pay that much?” I could’ve swore the description of the program said no judgement but hey, who am I kidding?
By the time I get my check it’s virtually gone whether completely to rent, groceries, gas, or bills. It’s depressing! I’m doing some freelance writing on the side but obviously it’s not helping much. My aspiration of being a successful Internet entrepreneur is starting to look unrealistic to me. I’m learning from the best of them, people who are making anywhere from $1,000-$10,000/month from their online business. I would love to make $1,000 from my online business, which is still less than half of my previous monthly income but more than I’m getting from unemployment. It’s very hard for me.
Being in debt with $20 in savings, no emergency fund, and no job is rough. I’m at rock bottom. I can do what some of the other personal finance blogging greats have done and sell everything and buy nothing. I could develop an unhealthy habit to extreme coupon. I can regret my latest purchase of a new dog (which I’m definitely starting to feel guilty about). Honestly I don’t know what helps. I’m getting discouraged from applying, I’m getting anxiety when I have to spend money on anything.
I cried, actually sobbed uncontrollably this morning. It actually concerned Frankie who came over to lick my tears away. I can only ask my husband to do so much. He’s on 8 hour restrictions at work which means no overtime because of his back. My mom, thank goodness, is helping me where she can, and I feel absolutely horrible about that. I moved out to be independent and was independent but now I’ve lost that. I officially depend on those two to make ends meet. It’s absolutely embarrassing.
I’m looking around to see what I should sell. There’s a few things I’m looking to hock on Craigslist or Amazon like I did when I was unemployed last time, but hopefully I’ll yield a better buck.
Have you ever reached your financial breaking point? What did you do to keep your sanity?
- Improve Your Job Prospects By Using LinkedIn (biojobblog.com)
- How Long Before The Unemployed Give Up? (huffingtonpost.com)
- A Day in the Life of the Unemployed Dad in San Diego (godofnothingnow.wordpress.com)