This Sunday will mark my one year anniversary from the day I became 20 and married. Can you believe it, because I sure can’t! For those of you who’ve been around that long (thank you for your support) you’ll remember that this time last year, I was debating on whether I would have a courthouse wedding, no wedding, or move on with the wedding I always wanted but could no longer afford. We decided to wed at the local courthouse and have been happily married ever since.
Well obviously, it wasn’t always happy times. We went through a lot just in this past one year. We welcomed Frankie into our lives, hubby got laid off, we struggled to make ends meet and keep our marriage strong. We laughed, we cried, and we learned about each other. I personally was a bit disappointed that what was supposed to be our “honeymoon” period was anything but, yet I realized something I already knew: we’re the exception, not the rule.
My first year as a wife has taught me:
- To be less selfish. Selfish was never a word I’ve described myself as in the past, but then again, my life was usually all about me anyways. When you’re in a partnership like a marriage, you have to exchange “I” and “me” for “us” and “we”. I used to think that was so corny but it’s so true. Things that in the past may have only affected me would also in some way affect my hubby. So I had to make decisions with him in mind.
- Hubby actually listens to me. Not only that, but when it comes to making decisions, I almost always have the last say! I was not expecting this at all, but I have learned that my husband trusts my instincts and my opinions, and does not just discard them. I used to think he would hear me but not listen to me, but I soon learned he truly does listen to what I’m saying.
- It’s easy to lose your identity as a spouse. I don’t want this to come off as bad as it sounds, but when we first got married, I was so focused on my role as a wife. However, that’s not the only role I hold. I’m also a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend, and also an individual. I know this sort of goes against my first point, but at times I found myself sacrificing my identity in order to be the best wife. But I can’t be the best wife if I’m slacking in other areas of my personality. So I’m learning to balance the role.
- Communication is more than talking at each other. Hubby and I have definitely been working on our communication since we got married. It’s not enough to talk at each other. You have to talk with each other, and ensure that the conversation is understood on both ends. We communicate using eye contact, undivided attention, physical touch, and of course electronic methods like e-mail, instant message, and text. We try to verify what we mean before jumping to conclusions.
- Our love languages. To this day, 5 Love Languages is the best marriage book I have read. I learned that my love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service, while hubby’s are physical touch and quality time. This has helped me understand more the ways my husband shows me he loves me, and has helped me express to him that I love him. Knowing this will certainly keep our marriage strong.
I learned so many things just in this one year of being a wife. As we approach 5 years of being in a relationship, I am still learning so much about my husband. From the things he experienced in his childhood, to his preference of television shows, I gain new knowledge that makes my significant other so much more interesting. Just the other day, we had an intense conversation on our favorite cereals growing up (I love / he loathes Honey Nut Cheerios, I loathe / he loves Pops).
In a couple of hours, we’ll be heading to Las Vegas to celebrate one year of being husband and wife. We have a very laid back agenda, which is mainly going to be focused on relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. It’s much needed and anticipated, especially since we really only spend 2-3 nights with each other per week. I’m looking forward to our time together.
So I get to say my marriage lasted longer than a lot of celebrities, even at just the 1 year mark. But I’m not stopping there. I can’t wait to celebrate each and every year. I’m excited to learn even more about him. I can’t wait until we get back on our feet financially and get to be back under the same roof on a daily basis. In a few years, children are on the horizon. I love him more today than I did last year, which I didn’t think was possible, but now I certainly understand.
I’m so blessed to have such an amazing man by my side who loves me unconditionally, despite my many faults and flaws. Someone I feel absolutely comfortable around to talk about anything and do anything with (like our 7-11 Slushie binge this past summer). I have someone to argue with and make up with. Another person to stuff my face with and take an afternoon nap with. Someone who I can make laugh and who tickles me uncontrollably.
Are we perfect? Absolutely not. But we fit together perfectly. I wouldn’t trade him for anything (although I’d be willing to rent him out, jk). I’ll probably strangle him with love this weekend. When I get smitten like this, I just can’t let go. And he thinks mushy stuff is weird which makes me do it even more.
So cheers to year #2 of being Mrs. Myricks. I even love my name! But I hate that no one pronounces it correctly. It was so much simpler being a Ford. It’s My-ricks. Just how it’s spelled! But I digress. It’s his name so I love it.
What did you do for your first anniversary? What did you learn your first year of marriage?