How Young Is Too Young to Get Married?

Excuse my tardiness on tackling this particular interview. I’m admittedly behind on my OWN shoes and interviews. Oprah interviewed superstar Justin Bieber (I like to call him J.Bieb because he just up and got hot on us out of nowhere) on her show Oprah’s Next Chapter. I missed the interview. But I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I saw my friend Tara say “Did Oprah just tell Justin Bieber that he can’t get married at 25 because it’s too young? Grr…” My sentiments exactly. So I went and looked for the clip myself. Just as frustrating as I thought.

Now I agree with Oprah to an extent, but disagree with her mostly. 25 is not too young to get married, but in the business and industry J.Bieb is in, sure, I can understand that getting married in his 20s is a bit of a stretch. I feel like that with a lot of musicians and even actors as I learn more about how stressful it is to be filming on location and being away from your family for extended periods of time.

So the interview brought up 2 big questions:

How Young Is Too Young to Get Married?

Is 25 really too young to get married? When I heard Oprah say this, I immediately thought, “welp, she’ll never read my blog” haha. We got engaged and married at 20, and we won’t be 25 for 3 more years. So we’ll have been married 5 years by that time. It’s not the first time I’ve heard it, and it won’t be the last time I’m sure. My grandmother said it when we got engaged. And I just found out that hubby’s BFF felt that we got married too young also.

Which begs me to question, what is that magical age? If it’s not 20 and it’s not 25, is it 30? 35? What constitutes as “old enough” to get married? According to an article in the LA Times, the average age of a woman’s 1st marriage in the US is 27. But in the 1960s, half of women were married by 20 years old. Another article at Huffington Post says young people are delaying marriage because of college debt. That clearly isn’t the case for us.

So what is it about 27 that is the “right age” to get married. What would be different at 27 that is different from 20 or 25? That’s nearly impossible to answer though. When I got engaged at 20 I had no idea I’d be here at 22, so how am I, or Oprah, or anyone else supposed to know what’s going to happen at age 27 that would snap on the marriage switch in my life? I personally think it’s bogus. I know 27 year olds that I’m more mature than. If I would have stayed in school, would that have made a difference? If we didn’t get laid off? If we didn’t move back home? *shrugs* I’m not sure what makes 27 the magic number.

Can You Be Married and Be 100% Committed to Your Spouse & Your Craft?

That’s one of my most frustrating arguments with my husband, as he wants to go into music, and it’s freaking impossible, no matter how many times he denies it, there’s no way you can be 100% dedicated to an entertainment career and be 100% committed to your marriage. Not starting off at least.

Some will say what makes music or acting different from any other career? You still have demands and deadlines and working hours. You should still be dedicated and punctual and all that other good stuff. But those industries have an expectation, and such a high bar of expectations, you almost have to sacrifice everything else in order to be successful, and even then, sometimes that isn’t enough. When you’re starting out in those fields, you’re going to auditions, shows, zipping & running. It’s not a consistent 40 hours/week. You’re not going to the same place everyday. You don’t get to just leave your work at home when it’s quitting time.

I want to know what you think. How young is too young to get married? Is 27 really the magic number? Was Oprah just talking about J.Bieb or all of us young lovebirds? Can you be committed to your marriage and your craft at the same time?

3 Responses to How Young Is Too Young to Get Married?

  1. The difference between 20 and 27 is huge, maturity-wise (especially for men). Psychologically experts estimate that men aren’t “mature” until anywhere between 23-25. And that’s even a stretch. Women aren’t mature until 21-23. I think it’s all about “learning” years. Plus they say that marriages that happen when both couples are over 25 have a MUCH higher chance of lasting than those of couples under 25.

    I’m only 23, and while I don’t think 25 is too young to get married, I did MOST of my growing up in my life between 19-21. I’m not even the same person. I’m with the same guy, but it’s been tough.

  2. Well, all I know is, that by the time I was 23 I was a much different person than when I was 20 or 21. I graduated college at 21 and had a high-paying job right out of college, that didn’t mean I was mature or ready for a serious relationship. I’m 29 now and I do feel like I can handle marriage now but at the end of the day, nothing in life is guaranteed. We don’t know who we will be at 35 or 40…but the important part is wanting to grow together and find that journey together. Is 20 too young? For most people, yes. But there are people like my boyfriend’s mom who got married at 21 and are still happily married 35+ years later.

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