We are now in week 3 of this new chapter of our marriage. Everybody’s still alive so that’s a plus. The change has been resisted heavily, at least on my part, and has not come easy. My mom asked me yesterday if I miss my house and I told her no. I really don’t miss the house. I don’t even miss the apartment. I miss what they represent. I miss the independence and the personal space hubby and I had. I miss the freedom, even though we rarely acted on it. I didn’t realize how much I took being around my husband for granted.
I’m no where near comfortable where I am now. My time is limited with my husband. The job process is going a lot slower than I want it to go. My grandparents are driving me crazy in true old people fashion. Yet, I’m very grateful to be somewhere. I spent the night with hubby Saturday but the fact that I have to take Frankie to a boarding place in order to spend some extended time with my husband is frustrating and expensive. I’ve spent $110 on overnight stays and doggy daycare all because of my father-in-law’s stubbornness. I’m still trying to figure out the best option for Frank, which still points to rehoming him.
I don’t want to view this next chapter in a negative light, even though that’s how I feel right now. I want to use it as a positive learning experience and stepping stone. I’m trying to find out how to adjust and how to make the best out of this situation. Not having to focus on the responsibility of a home gives me the opportunity to focus on other things, mainly my health. I’ve decided to start training to become a runner.
I think running will give me the personal time I need, the health benefits I need, and something to look forward to. I haven’t had much to work towards or look forward to in a long time. It’s certainly not going to be easy. One of my friends is going to push me really hard at the gym which is what I need. It’s also a great way to get out of the house (which is definitely what I need living here).
I really hope and pray that this chapter is a short one. Regardless, I’ll be working on defining it positively.