I have read many articles and books in which couples stated that divorce is not an option. Reading that usually warms my heart, especially in the day and age of microwave weddings, marriages, and divorces. I watched a few documentaries by my friends Ronnie & Lamar Tyler, focusing on marriage and interviewing several couples. In their latest documentary, Still Standing, couples discussed the problems that their marriage overcame, and how they were still standing. Some of the issues included financial problems, career demands, blending families, chronic illness, and infidelity. Yes, relationships can be saved in spite of these challenges. So what’s a deal breaker?
We briefly talked about Evelyn Lozada and Chad Johnson/Ochocinco, and how their marriage was over about a month after it started. The reason the marriage came to a screeching halt was because of a domestic dispute in which Chad headbutted Evelyn in a heated argument. I personally am a firm believer that domestic violence is a deal breaker, and a relationship cannot be repaired afterwards, but I can’t speak for everyone. I assumed that because Evelyn filed for divorce immediately after the incident, she felt the same. I guess I was wrong.
We know the Chris Brown and Rihanna incident that happened a few years ago and how their on and off relationship / love triangle has been going on. Well when they were seen at the Lakers and Knicks Christmas game, and took a picture that went viral on Instagram and Twitter, Evelyn tweeted this:
Seeing that tweet disturbed me. Was Evelyn supporting a seemingly toxic relationship after she had ended hers? Well then I got another surprise. I saw Evelyn tweeting between people and Chad. And later saw this tweet:
Living together? I thought Evelyn moved out of their house together, and insisted that she would not go back to Chad, even though he was doing everything in his power to win her back.
Do people make mistakes? Absolutely. Does one bad decision dictate someone’s entire existence and personality? It shouldn’t. However, I just think there are some things you sort of can’t go back on. I can’t speak for Rihanna or Evelyn, especially because I’m not in their Louboutins. I know they both despise the fact that people expect them to be role models when they don’t want to be. But it comes with the territory. So they’re going to get some heat from it.
Some of the situations couples went through in Still Standing are deal breakers. There are many married couples who couldn’t get past an affair, financial issues, and even life threatening diseases. Someone married to their job can be just as much of a no-go as someone married to someone else. My best friend has told me that she would not put up with the things I have put up with if she were married. It’s truly to each his/her own. But where is the line drawn? Is there a line?
Again, I like the idea of divorce not being option. In order for that to work though, both parties need to have respect for the other partner, and there should be an agreement as to what is not acceptable in your marriage. Counseling can work wonders, but is there a situation that can’t be fixed?
Would you take your spouse back after a domestic dispute? What’s a situation you don’t think your marriage could survive?