Are You Ready to Be a Parent?

I feel like I always have to start these posts out the same way. I am not pregnant. I just happen to have a fascination with becoming a parent, without making the premature plunge into such a drastic change in my life. Hubby and I are only a few weeks shy of our 1st anniversary of being married, so by no means are babies in the plan as of yet. You all know we have a lot of other things to worry about for now. But that doesn’t stop me from thinking about the next step: parenthood.

We were talking the other night about how we think we will change when we are expecting. I had the realization the other day that I will become a totally different person when I become a mom. I’ve always sort of been the baby in my family. With the exception of my little sister and my little cousin, I’ve been the one who was the youngest and catered to (read: spoiled). I’ve never let it get to my head though. But when you become a parent, things have to change.

Quite a few of my former classmates are now moms or dads. One of my former best friends recently became a mom, and I just think it’s such a drastic change. But not everyone makes those changes. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of young ladies I went to school with who are doing this on their own. Where the fathers are, I don’t know, but I’m sure that wasn’t the plan. I only know 2 of them who are married out of the 2 dozen or so ladies I know who have children. I couldn’t imagine raising a child without the father there, but it’s happening.

Some people are still doing things that they were doing before they had children. They still go out to parties and clubs. They still hang around people who don’t add much value to their lives. Some of them don’t even have a job. That’s one of my main reasons I’m holding out on bringing another life into this world. Financially, it would be absolutely irresponsible to have a child with no means to support him or her.

I asked some of my followers how having a child changed them:

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/mrssays/status/195909591064784896"]

I could use some strength and confidence. I’m 21 now, but I don’t know if I’ll be ready when I’m 22.

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/4hatsandfrugal/status/195910421658611712"]

Oh, how I love to sleep! Even though I can function without having much of it. I heard that it’s all about going to sleep when the baby does.

[blackbirdpie url="https://twitter.com/#!/avon_deevah/status/195915916654026753"]

Selflessness! Babies certainly teach you that, seeing as how you have a life depending on you for their needs. What a feeling that must be.

I’m watching my baby shows on TLC, and I see the journey of becoming a mother. The pregnancy, the labor (oh Lord am I dreading that), and then the realization: you’re a parent! It changes dads just as it changes moms. I know hubby will make a great dad and it will change him for the better. I can’t wait to see that change in both of us.

I have quite a few things I’d like to accomplish before having a baby, and I know I probably beat this topic over and over, but what can I say? I can’t wait (but I will).

What age were you when you had your first child? How did it change you? Guess who that is in the photo.

7 Responses to Are You Ready to Be a Parent?

  1. I’m 29, we’ve been married for 4 years (together for 14)… and we still want to wait a few more years before taking the plunge.  I think I’ll be “ready” to be a parent at 32.  It’s a scary thought though.  You’re right – live as we know it will completely change!

  2. I’m 26 already. And I don’t feel ready to be a parent. It’s not only about relationship, job situation, etc. It’s about me. I don’t say “no” to having children in the future (because I know that “mother nature” won’t wait for me). And I love kids, I really do. But I’m just not sure (ok. let’s say I haven’t grown up yet) if I want to be a mother…

  3. I’m 26 already. And I don’t feel ready to be a parent. It’s not only about relationship, job situation, etc. It’s about me. I don’t say “no” to having children in the future (because I know that “mother nature” won’t wait for me). And I love kids, I really do. But I’m just not sure (ok. let’s say I haven’t grown up yet) if I want to be a mother…

  4. I got married at 21 and have five children. I had my last at 34. You won’t care about mundane things anymore (whether somebody’s talking about you and all that stuff.) You’ll certainly grow up and each child will change you in different ways. And they’ll also change your marriage. It made our marriage much better with each child. We don’t argue a whole lot because we don’t want our children to see us doing that and we know it’s really a waste of time. Yes, life will change, but when you have the complete admiration of a child (before the teenage years, lol), you’ll wonder why you “waited” so long.

  5. I’m not a parent yet but, like you, I’m fascinated with it – I can’t wait to become a parent (well, actually, I can. and will). I’m 23 and can’t fathom having kids for at least 3+ years. I love children but one thing I’m scared about – and this may be irrational – is what if I CAN’T have kids? What if my SO can’t have kids? (I have no problem with adoption but it can take a LONG time to adopt – my aunt has 6 kids, all adopted). It’s scary stuff.

  6. Girl, I’m right in that boat with you. I am 22 years old, my husband and I want to have kids but right now were just trying to get ourselves off the ground, get our business growing and have the finances and free time to have kids and enjoy that season of life. I’ll admit I am nervous like the other blogger about NOT being ABLE to have children, but I know that adoption/fostering is no problem with us. Also, my husband’s older siblings all have kids (about 10) so he’s been around kids for quite a while, I think he’s kinda worn out; so if we wait by the time they grow up he’ll be more enthusiastic about having his own.
    Great Post, thanks!

  7. I am like you Briana….I fascinate with it all the time. Me and my hubby are coming up on our 6 months of being married on Mother’s day! We are in our early 30′s so we get so much pressure from everyone to get moving on it. Lol! There are some things I would like to accomplish first before bringing in a baby into the equation. Usually that is what brings me back to reality. Not saying you can’t get things done with kids, but it would be easier for me to just wait.

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