Picture the scene. After years of struggle you have finally found Mr. Right.
Life is bliss.
You are now Mrs. Right.
But now as if all was going too well and things in your life were just too good to be true, along comes a dark cloud.
This dark cloud has a name and its name is – Sister in Law.
For most people getting married is a whole new world of excitement and a tremendously happy time. However for some people the whole experience can be filled with anxiety and tension because of a difficult sister in law.
The tension between a new bride and a Sister in Law is a common problem that many people seem to encounter. Whether it comes down to a clash of personality types or something more fundamental there is always a way to improve a troubled relationship with a difficult Sister in Law.
Here are 3 proven tips that will help build bridges between you and your new Sister in Law.
Remember that she was here first
The most common reason for tension between a new wife and your partner’s sister is the readjustment that is needed after a wedding. Most families have set orders and established hierarchies that have been in place for many years. Your introduction into the family has upset that natural order and changed the family dynamic.
Very often your new sister in law will feel anxious and even threatened that you will take her place and force her down the family order.
Whilst you know this is not the case you must not assume that she will know this.
Do your best to consider her feelings and if you can have a quiet word to reassure her that her place in the family order is secure and she really shouldn’t worry.
Never forget an important date
Often time’s tension can be caused by simple misunderstandings such as forgetting an important family anniversary or milestone. Your sister in law might take offence at something you forgot to do and the worst part is that you would not even know what you had done.
When you join a new family through marriage make sure you make a note of all important family events and occasions on a calendar or diary.
Doing this will ensure that you are never caught out at the last minute or even worst case – totally forget about something that will cause your new family to be annoyed at you.
As an extra bonus tip – never ever forget about your sister in law’s birthday.
Communicate on her level
In life sometimes we just have to accept that we will not get along with everyone. Sometimes we will find people that we just do not like, or indeed that just do not like us.
If that is the case with your sister in law then the best that you can hope for is establish some kind of level of mutual respect.
You will have to accept that you will never be best friends but you do have to find some way to at least communicate in a way that is respectful of each other.
Remember the common ground you have is the man you married and love. Even if you cannot stand his sister, out of respect for your partner you should try to forge some sort of respectful relationship.
To do this you must take a step back and try and find a common ground with your sister in law.
Even if you have nothing in common you should be able to find something to talk about that does not involve arguing or fighting.
If you can make the effort it is highly likely that she too will make the effort. Even if you both have to do this through gritted teeth it is definitely a better option than spending time and energy fighting with someone who is so important to your husband.